Day 11 - Monday 1st May 2017
Horrendous
There is only one word I can use to describe how I felt yesterday. Horrendous. What should have been a relaxing day off work, with my family became a form of torture. I'm coming to the conclusion that I am not able to relax and switch my brain off.
I must have thought about having a drink every few minutes. I could not get it out of my mind and I felt thoroughly miserable and deprived.
I have realised that distraction is the key to overcoming The Niv (my Naughty Inner Voice). So I decided to log on to YouTube and see whether I could find any motivational TED talks about going sober.
If you haven't discovered TED talks yet, give them a try. According to Google, TED is a non profit organisation that produces short talks of around 18 minutes which spread ideas. Are there any which focus on alcohol and going sober? Absolutely - in fact they are too numerous to mention.
The great thing about these talks is that as they are short in length, - you can watch them whilst having a cup of tea or over a lunch break at work.
As it approached wine o'clock I logged on to YouTube and watched a couple of talks. It certainly helped to re-set my mind and The Niv was put firmly back in the cupboard.
Unfortunately, the little blighter does keep escaping but I am determined to continue to develop strategies to overcome it! I feel a small sense of victory and enjoy it.
Big hugs,
Sxxxx
Thursday, 4 May 2017
Monday, 1 May 2017
Day 10 - Sunday 30th April 2017
Wrestling
I realised yesterday that in my quest for sobriety I have unwittingly taken on a new sport - wrestling.
I spent much of yesterday afternoon 'wrestling' with my naughty inner voice, who I shall henceforth rename 'The Niv'.
The Niv was desperate to make me fold and have a drink yesterday. It kept repeating "Go on - have a drink. It's Bank Holiday weekend. Everybody's doing it. You know you want to".
I didn't want to as it happens, but I knew The Niv might get to me if I let it.
I distracted myself. I cleaned out my car, took the dog for a walk, and spent ages making a nice family dinner. I felt quite smug by the end of the day. I had achieved lots of things that can often make me feel a bit stressed when left and put off.
I have realised that The Niv is like the friend we all had at school. The 'cool' one who initially seems like such good fun, egging us on to push the boundaries against our better judgement, before getting us into huge amounts of trouble..........
In the end, we usually wise up and ditch those 'friends'. We recognise they are not really friends at all.. Friends should be there to support us and act in our best interests not do everything they can to sabotage our good intentions.
The Niv is clearly no friend of mine. I am hoping that by giving it a name, I can better recognise when it is trying to influence me and I will be better placed to respond positively rather than react and be influenced. With any luck, it will get bored and go into hibernation and I will be free. There is no place for it in my new sober and serene existence.
Big hugs,
Sxxxx
Wrestling
I realised yesterday that in my quest for sobriety I have unwittingly taken on a new sport - wrestling.
I spent much of yesterday afternoon 'wrestling' with my naughty inner voice, who I shall henceforth rename 'The Niv'.
The Niv was desperate to make me fold and have a drink yesterday. It kept repeating "Go on - have a drink. It's Bank Holiday weekend. Everybody's doing it. You know you want to".
I didn't want to as it happens, but I knew The Niv might get to me if I let it.
I distracted myself. I cleaned out my car, took the dog for a walk, and spent ages making a nice family dinner. I felt quite smug by the end of the day. I had achieved lots of things that can often make me feel a bit stressed when left and put off.
I have realised that The Niv is like the friend we all had at school. The 'cool' one who initially seems like such good fun, egging us on to push the boundaries against our better judgement, before getting us into huge amounts of trouble..........
In the end, we usually wise up and ditch those 'friends'. We recognise they are not really friends at all.. Friends should be there to support us and act in our best interests not do everything they can to sabotage our good intentions.
The Niv is clearly no friend of mine. I am hoping that by giving it a name, I can better recognise when it is trying to influence me and I will be better placed to respond positively rather than react and be influenced. With any luck, it will get bored and go into hibernation and I will be free. There is no place for it in my new sober and serene existence.
Big hugs,
Sxxxx
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