Day 6 - Wednesday 26th April 2017

Temptation

Yesterday was really, really tough.  It was my first full day at work since my sober journey started.  Things started well but later in the day, I was left reeling by how an innocent comment from a well meaning colleague could pose such a threat to my new found sobriety.

Towards the end of the day, I met with a colleague - a smart, attractive lady around my age who I have a great deal of professional and personal respect for.  As we left the meeting we were chatting about our children and how stressful it is supporting them through their exams.  "Go home and have a nice glass of wine - you will feel better" she said as we walked back to the office.

As I laughed off the thought I immediately felt a change in my perspective.  "Yes that sounds like a really good idea" my naughty inner voice said.  "one won't hurt you and you've been given permission by this lovely lady you like and respect.  There can't be anything wrong with that".

So, on the way home I popped into the supermarket and purchased a bottle of Pinot Grigio and told myself it was justified.  I had been given permission to do it. 

By the time I got home I was beginning to question whether it was the right thing to do so I popped it in the fridge and made myself a cup of tea.  I sat down and reflected on it, hearing my rational brain setting out to my naughty inner voice all the reasons why it was not a good idea.

I am pleased to say that my rational brain won this particular battle but I was very sorely tempted and it frightened me how close I came.  I hope it gets easier as I don't know whether I can remain this strong.

Big hugs,

Sxxxx