Day 10 - Sunday 30th April 2017

Wrestling

I realised yesterday that in my quest for sobriety I have unwittingly taken on a new sport - wrestling.

I spent much of yesterday afternoon 'wrestling' with my naughty inner voice, who I shall henceforth rename 'The Niv'.

The Niv was desperate to make me fold and have a drink yesterday.  It kept repeating "Go on - have a drink.  It's Bank Holiday weekend.  Everybody's doing it.  You know you want to".

I didn't want to as it happens, but I knew The Niv might get to me if I let it. 

I distracted myself.  I cleaned out my car, took the dog for a walk, and spent ages making a nice family dinner.  I felt quite smug by the end of the day.  I had achieved lots of things that can often make me feel a bit stressed when left and put off.

I have realised that The Niv is like the friend we all had at school.  The 'cool' one who initially seems like such good fun, egging us on to push the boundaries against our better judgement, before getting us into huge amounts of trouble.......... 

In the end, we usually wise up and ditch those 'friends'.  We recognise they are not really friends at all..  Friends should be there to support us and act in our best interests not do everything they can to sabotage our good intentions.

The Niv is clearly no friend of mine. I am hoping that by giving it a name, I can better recognise when it is trying to influence me and I will be better placed to respond positively rather than react and be influenced.  With any luck, it will get bored and go into hibernation and I will be free.  There is no place for it in my new sober and serene existence.

Big hugs,

Sxxxx